Monday, August 30, 2010

New Skills Continued

As explained in earlier posts, I am being Nurse Ratched to my wife who is recovering from a total hip replacement. In addition to my "nursing" duties I am am learning a whole new set of skills. Yesterday I focused on the laundry (washing. drying, and folding). Today, lets take on shopping for food and drugs. Two items that should be quite easy and not time consuming at all. Yea, right!

The shopping trip was initiated by the crime of supplying my patient with stale bread for toast. I was handed a list of things to purchase. Eight things to be exact. Bread, hamburger buns, eggs, American cheese, peanuts, washing detergent, Pepcid Complete, and ALKA-SELTZER.

Instructions included using two $4 coupons (pepcid Complete and WISK washing detergent). My wife provided me with a job aid in the form of the ad from the flyer that had a picture of the WISK that was on sale.

Going to the store is not a real easy everyday thing here. We live out in the county, and every shopping trip involves about 14 miles round trip.

First stop was Walgreens for the Pepcid Complete, and ALKA-SELTZER. No problem with the Pepcid Complete, except a mild heart attack at the price. Instant heartburn. Found the ALKA-SELTZER, but every box had been opened. Now momma didn't raise no fool. Never buy a package that has been tampered with or opened. I passed on this item, to purchase at the next store.

Second and final stop Giant Eagle. Started out great, 1 pound of American cheese. Bread is fresh bakery bread. Only two loafs left, both with a sell by date of August 31. Into the cart one goes. On to the eggs. List states one dozen large eggs. Sorted through about 100 cartons of eggs, but all had a use by date of September 3. I guess we'll have to eat these eggs in 4 days. On the list, so into the cart the eggs go. Start looking for peanuts! Found the display for the special on the WISK, but no red bottles with 36 loads as pictured in the flyer with the $4 off coupon. They had 26 load, 50+ load, and 96 load. The coupon is only good on the red bottle-36 load size. Hightailed to the customer service counter for a "raincheck". Gal tried to take advantage of my telling that they were substituting the 26 load bottle for the 36 load bottle. Here again, momma didn't raise no fool. 26 loads of wash is a wee bit less than 36 loads. No way, give me the raincheck-but make sure it lasts after the coupon expires, next week.

Continue and look for peanuts. No friggin peanuts can be found. I know they're there, but damned if I can find them. I look at my watch, and see I've been here for 45 minutes, just to purchase 7 items.

I go to the checkout with my measly 7 items. Six checkouts and only two open; each with about four customers in line. I picked the one that I thought would be the fastest. Wrong again! Lady in front of me had two screaming kids and about 10 to 15 items to purchase; one of which was a gallon of wine. She tried to pay for the stuff with food stamps or some other kind of voucher. Took the cashier and the assistant manager about 10 minutes to convince her the wine could not be purchased with the voucher. By the time it was my turn the cashier was whining to the lady behind me that she would be glad when her shift was over, that the whole day had been a day from Hell. I observed the cashier ring up my seven six item, correctly. As she kept on complaining about the rude customers to the lady behind me, she commenced to put my fresh bread into the bag and toss everything else in on top of the loaf. I said, " hey! you just crushed my loaf of bread by tossing everything in on top of it". She looked at me for the first time and snarled," do you want me to replace it?" My reply, "I really don't care, but the bread is for my wife, and she would say, REPLACE IT!"

Now I can understand why my wife does not enjoy shopping like she used to.

To be continued.......


Anonymous said...

Great comeback to the check out chick! Mind if I use it?

Judy B

Marcia said...

Oooh... I would have had her replace that loaf too. Peanuts (unsalted) will be in your baking isle somewhere close to chocochips.. Salted kind in munchie isle.. like next to popcorn ect. OR if theres beer that isle somewhere.

It sounds like you did rather well for your first time out Tom. :D How long is your wife expected to be laid up? HI to her by the way.