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Saturday, December 6, 2008

Observations From Driving Across the USA

First of all, I like to drive. I hate to fly. I am not afraid to fly, I just don't like it. The following is a final recap of driving across the country. Just some of my observations. There is no order, no hidden meanings, just what ever pops into this tired ol head; and manages to come out the two fingers that I type with.

1. Nobody except me drives the speed limit.
2. There are fewer and fewer professional truck drivers these days.
3. Even truck drivers seem to drive with a cell phone in their hand all the time.
4. There are more and more female truck drivers every day.
5. The price of gasoline is the cheapest in Missouri.
6. Nine out of 10 customers that are seen in a McDonalds are grossly over weight.
7. Fat teenagers out number thin teenagers ten to one.
8. You can gain 8 pounds in one week by eating breakfast and lunch at McDonalds.
9. No teenagers in the USA ware coats anymore.
10. Flashing roadway sign in NM "DWI BLITZ - COPS EVERYWHERE"
11. In NM, at freeway cross-overs there are signs that say "FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY"
But, there are also signs at those cross-overs that say "WRONG WAY", "DO NOT ENTER"
Does this mean that the cops in NM get confused and go the wrong way on the freeway?
12. If there are only two trucks on the road, they will be trying to pass one another in front of you, while going up a hill.
13. The signs that warn of a "SAFETY CORRIDOR" where fines are doubled, has nothing to do with SAFETY. It's just a way to get more money in fines.
14. When signs that warn of ROADWORK AHEAD, HIT A WORKER - GO TO JAIL, does a "worker" have to be working to qualify? I doubt it, it seems that there are always 4 or 5 "workers" standing around while one might be working. What if a worker wanders in front of you and gets hit? Do survivors go to jail?
15. I have discovered what happens to all those sand bags that highway workers weight the signs down with, once they are done with them. They recycle them as motel pillows.
16. Count on a stone being kicked up and breaking a windshield (at least 50% of the time).
17. Since when do motels allow dogs in the rooms? I'll start asking for a non pet room as well as a non smoking room from now on. I wonder if you can do that?


tisme said...

I love your observations, because they are so true! I just want to add one.
Why do you stop to use the restrooms and then buy a drink, so you know you will have to stop again in at least an hour!

Tom H said...

I think my wife has that one all figured out. She gets an ice cream cone. Well in the afternoon that is. Not me I get coffee, and have to stop again...LOL

Holee said...

Besides all that you mention, I've also noticed that motorcycles makes their own lanes & speed rules.